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  | Andrew Dice Clay: The Dice Man Cometh
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 The Diceman Rolls a Stale Hand | |
| Yes, I'm aware of the incredibly inane pun that I constructed as a preamble to this review, but I am immediately cleared of any litigious action as a result of what the review entails. In the pith of my sprightly youth, I can recollect a certain foul mouth cigarette smoking comedian clad in a black leather jacket whose invective laced stand-up material frequently incited long durations of unmitigated laughter betwixt me and a small coterie of friends (we had to clandestinely listen to his material because of parental opposition - the paranoia of being caught was tantamount to the ever approaching goosesteps of Gastapo in search of cowering young Jews). Unanimously we would recite the "dirty" reworking of our favorite Mother Goose nursery rhymes and reiterate again and again, all of our favorite bits. That comedian was the Dice Man, Andrew Dice Clay (whom up until a while ago, I assumed was a Wop such as myself - but word around the campfire speculates he's Jewish). Anyway, Semitism has nothing to do with the poor quality of his routines. Last week I was watching Collin Quin's Tough Crowd (for those unfamiliar with this program, it is similar to Bill Maher's Politically Incorrect, with the exception that the panel is comprised of comedians). Much to my surprise, the Dice Man happened to be a guest on the show. It was awkward because I had literally effaced any memory I had ever had of Andrew Dice Clay and his "comedy" act. As I watched in bewilderment, he delivered one or two jokes that struck me as a relatively humorous. I even began to recall some of those beloved quasi-rhymes the Dice Man had taught me at such an early age ("hickory dickory dock, some chick was suckin' my..."). With this renewed interest in the Dice Man, I made a short jaunt to my local video store to acquire a stand-up tape featuring my childhood idol. The video I rented was "The Dice Man Cometh." Even the clerk at the register who so gracefully handled the transaction was amused by my selection (he told me the Dice Man was "f-in' hilarious, ya know?"). When I returned home and posited the cassette into the VCR, I knew I had made a fatal mistake. One by one, any amorous remembrance or memory I had of this man being funny was competently dissimilated and torn to shreds. I honestly had my jaw agape at how ludicrously far one man was willing to go to attain a few belly laughs. Now, I am not for politically correct rhetoric by any stretch, but even this seemed too far for me. I have no problem (and am actually quite humored) with comics who ridicule the "appropriate" lexicon of society, but it seemed as if the Dice Man spoke in such a manner because he wasn't aware of anything else. Being outrageous for the sake of being outrageous is a far cry from commenting upon the colloquial gentrification of America, and comedians apt to utilize such humor usually fade out as their hype dissipates. This case is true for Andrew Dice Clay. If you're looking for smart commentary or even people who are actually funny, I recommend you try George Carlin, Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, Nick Di Palo, even Paul Reiser is funnier than the Dice Man (and Paul Reiser is NOT funny). Anyhow, I'm sure some will enjoy his "daringly irreverent" commentary...but some people enjoy bludgeoning themselves to sleep as well, which is exactly what Dice's humor compelled me to do. | |
| a very silly fellow... | |
| One of my friends absolutely adored Dice Clay once upon a time. I remember well the forced smile that I would wear as "Little Miss Tuffet" was played for the fiftieth time in as many minutes. He listened and laughed maniacally like a man possessed, but even he, one of Dice's biggest fans, has since seen the light. I no longer stand on the ceremony of a forced smile when I hear this silly little man's worn out antics. It's not that I feel very strongly about the guy, it's just worth pointing out that he plain ain't funny. To label his comic style as "school-yard humour" would be an insult to school children everywhere. Try Bill Hicks if you need to laugh at something slightly edgy. Andrew Dice Clay isn't edgy; he's mostly just rude, and a bit stupid if I'm to be absolutely honest. Just to hammer my point home, there are two reviewers having a go at eachother on this page and I reckon the dispute gives a pretty good idea of the sort of person that Clay attracts. One fellow described this video as "no holes barred". The other reviewer replied by correcting his mistake, but then called him a jackass with only one 's'...You surely catch my drift. | |
 A little slice of Americana... | |
| I--both wittingly and unwittingly--have watched about 4 Andrew Dice Clay standup videos. This 1989 HBO comedy special filmed live in Philadelphia before a rowdy crowd of mullet-wearing jokels is his best, which isn't to say it's without its flaws. Andrew Clay Silverstein (Dice's real name) rose to the top of the comedy heap by telling hilariously tasteless jokes on women, sex, and--of course--dirty nursery rhymes. While he wasn't the best comic of the 1980s comedy boom (Sam Kinison, Eddie Murphy, and Jim Carrey were all funnier) Dice is consistently funny when he sticks to these well worn topics. He earned the undying hatred of women's groups everywhere, but he became a millionaire in the process. Needless to say, I don't think you'll quickly climb the corporate ladder by reciting these jokes at work, but they are frequently hilarious. I demoted Mr. Silverstein 2 stars, however, because this video has its weak spots. The painfully slow 5 minute introductory sketches illustrate that sketch comedy just isn't Dice's thing. Kindly fast forward through it. Furthermore, some of his jokes about African Americans, Asians, and Arabs are just flat out racist. I didn't find myself (or anyone else I was watching it with) laughing. Anyhoo, for a has-been, Dice is a pretty successful one. He performs at Bally's in Las Vegas and pulls in 7 figures telling the same dirty nursery rhymes that you'll see here. If you want to save yourself the $60+ to purchase a seat at one of his shows (in addition to the cost of going to Vegas), then get this video. Otherwise, enjoy his live show...just don't sit in the front! | |
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